To Grieve or Not to Grieve

Losing someone I really love is my greatest fear in life. I have reached my mid-twenties and still I cannot relate to those distressing stories regarding death of a loved one. Until one morning (September 20th), I was awakened by the alarming voice of my mother while she talked with someone over the telephone. It was my uncle telling the heartbreaking news that my beloved grandmother passed away.

Tears just flowed right through my eyes without warning, and thoughts of my Lola during our precious moments together flashed before me. While I hugged my grieving mother, I instantly told her I want to go home with her.

We all went home to attend the wake even though we knew it would be very difficult for us emotionally to arrive in our ancestral home in Bulacan in this kind of scenario. I didn’t see my Lola for one year and never had the chance to talk to her for quite some time, and these made everything much more difficult to bear.

You cannot imagine how much tears I have shed because of what happened, but as I’ve learned from my aunt that my Lola passed away peacefully and without having to experience painful death, that she has chosen to leave us just because she feels its her time, that she has prepared for it and even visited her sons and daughters before the day she died… I was somehow relieved to hear all these and was grateful to the Lord that He willed my Lola’s passing in this manner.

So, instead of questioning God about why did he let my Lola passed away, which I am about to do because of the pain, I rightfully thanked the Lord and offered every single moment in giving Him thanks and praises. And through the power of prayers of our family, friends and our Christian communities, God has granted us with the strength to accept Lola’s death and God even graced us with a positive outlook of what happened.

Through faith, the fear I was so scared to face all my life turned out to be just like one of the many ordeals that I can handle with God’s help.

To grieve or not to grieve, that is the question? Of course, to grieve is just but natural because we will miss the temporal body of our loved one and we can only keep the memories they have left behind, but we should also take into account that God has built a Kingdom as foretold by the Holy Scriptures and emphasized in our Salvation history, how can we grieve over something so great and promising, knowing that our beloved has crossed over to spend eternal life with the Lord.

the stories ... as promised!!!

and so, after a while of not visiting my blogspot, i am once again back with lotsa kwentos and pictures with hun, family, friends, new officemates, hun and hun... as promised during my last blog, stories re: Jayson-Joanne in AUH... phew where to start??? anyway my pic archive folders might help:

September 22, 2006 - Jowayne went home for a week c;(
Jayson arrived here in Abu Dhabi Aug. 12th together with my mom, but I have to leave unexpectedly for the Philippines to attend my beloved Lola's wake on the 22nd of September... i was so devasted that time that I resigned from my 'new' work and went home with my whole family to see my Lola for the last time (until now there's still a sudden pang of hurt..*sigh*)... Jayson as well was in a quite shock because he was left home alone on his "supposedy" first happy birthday outside his comfort zone... I came back 29th of September ... only to cry once again on Jayson's shoulders. "Refer to To Grieve or not to Grieve post"

October 23, 2006 - Off to Al Ain Mountains ~ "Al Ain is Abu Dhabi's Oasis" - we went to Jebel Hafeet rocky mountains for the sake of the newbies in UAE - Ate tets, Darwin and Jayson...

November 2006 - Met my friends and joined SFC

Jayson got along well with my friends easily siempre shy sya at first but knowing Jayson and my friends here in AUH, i knew they'll hit it off ... and of course, Jayson joined the CLP to become a certified SFCer ... it is important since we made a pact that we will put Christ in the center of our relationship and joining a Christian community in our non-comfort zone will help us realize this conviction.

More stories to come...